Dream nº 28
(5.00 to 5.30 am) (Got insomnia since 3.30 am, I decided to read Flo dream diary for a while. Before fall asleep I made autosuggestion that I should have a Co.Dream) When fall asleep start dreaming that I'm in a public place, all naked, pissing on a public place. I get aware I'm dreaming and start pissing over a man who has just entered there. I decide to practise some of the experiences described in Flo diary.
1º - Physical transformations of my body. I try to look at my own body, at first it is not easy, everything oscillates. I'm able to do that and there it is my entire body, seen from a normal perspective. I think about transforming me into an animal, preferably an aggressive one in order to not become a prey of another one: a wolf. I concentrate myself and my hands and arms start to change themselves into wolf legs, later the head and all the body. I feel myself becoming brutish and getting an exciting anger. I notice other people there getting afraid of me. I run on my four legs threatening and terrifying everybody. I pursue a small animal which runs and hides from me. A dog comes close to me and I fight it, biting it severely. I got tired and I decide to try another transformation. I try to be an iron wire. I concentrate on my leg, I see it moving itself and starting to change but it doesn't go far. Maybe a wire is something too much strange to my physical conceptions. How would be to look like a heap of iron wire ?
I leave that place on my feet and later flying along a stone path. All around looks like at O.Frades. I meet Teod. at a path corner. With his usual look, he is about to start a long incoherent colloquy but I make him feel that I'm in a hurry. He looks annoyed and goes on his way. By the side of the path, I see a white plastic object , it looks as a glue tube screw-cap. I decide trying to transform it. I want a ball and screw-cap softens and melts, from which I make a ball. This is not straightaway, because 2 or 3 small balls appear, aggregated together. Their texture is like a hard gel, like those hopping rubber balls. I try to illuminate a place with light projected from my hand palms, but nothing goes out. I decide to try another thing: sex. I meet my aunt V, who sends me inviting looks. I want to go on slowly, because at previous times when I tried it, I woke up due to extreme excitation. So I started softly, giving just some kisses and caresses. It's incredible how sensations are real. I remain there for a while but things do not evolve to the end as it would happen normally. I leave again flying.
I go back to that place at first part of dream. The general feeling is a depressive and obscure one. I wander a bit but I don't like the place and the feeling around me. I get tired and decide to wake up.
(7.10 to 7.35 am) Fall asleep suddenly and I'm projected to an Int.State, while keeping at the same time a certain awareness from my true reality. It is a double state, quite strange, I'm in two states simultaneously. After waiting some moments, I slowly dedouble myself. As soon as I become free from my body, I oscillate free and fast at open space but I manage to focus my attention in order to get myself sitting at bed side. Now I'm over my body. Following an advice read on Flo, I concentrate at heart level and try to get into meditation. Sometimes, the attention moves to head level: there, the noise and disorientation are strong. (It's late and I should have to wake up to take A to school. Thus I know that at any time she may come and wake me up) Now I'm sitting over a window bank, my back to the window and my bed in front of me. I'm all naked and in a moment I cover myself with a robe. Suddenly, I see the room door is now open and Alexandra is about to enter in. I stay right where I am to observe if she walks towards my asleep body and to see what happens then. Astonished, I see her going to me, to where I am. How to explain her what I was doing there seated out of bed ? I wake with a start. False wake up. After all I'm still in darkness, lying on my bed, Alexandra is there and I say:
- What time is now ?
- 7.10, it's late.
- I'm going to get up, now.
I try reach at light switch but throw down the floor all things which were on bedside table. I wake up really and got evidence that nobody entered in the room to wake me up. (Moral of the dream: do not meditate when you're pressed by schedules).
Dream nº 29
(around 10.30 am) Before fall asleep I make 3 groups of countings from 1 up to 100, concentrating in the middle of the forehead. Fall asleep and I have a short period of normal dream. I wake up slightly and I oscillate 2 or 3 times between vigil and Int.State. I stay inside Int.State, is all white around, I don't see anything and I have a strong pressure in my head. Sometimes, I can see some colorful pictures or geometric patterns. Slowly I dedouble from my oneiric body. The dominant sensation is one of spinning and disorientation. It's not pleasant at all. I have no control and I leave myself being driven by this. The pressure and " flanging " is strong (flanging is a common word to assign a distortion of sensations characterized by rhythmic oscillation of the visual images and/or sounds, normally between 3 and 6 cycles/second. An explanation has been proposed it could be a sensible manifestation of delta rhythms). The scenes are a kind like living cartoons and flow out without nexus. I wake up completely dizzy, remaining so for a quarter hour more.
Dream nº 30
(8.45 to 9.15 am) Fall asleep and enter in Co.Dream. I'm in a room different from mine. My uncle AM is there by the side, studying some papers. After some instants I dedouble myself. I decide to try if I can feel physical pain or not. I don't have a knife and I don't want to be so radical, too. I beat with my fist over another hand supported on a table and then with a solid thing. In fact, I do feel pain, an identical one to that I would feel when waked up. I leave across the window. The house where I was is at seaside, right over a pebble beach, with sea beating over there with din. It's a beautiful day, full of sun. I sit down at a good table, with champagne and crystal cups. L is sitting by my side, I sees both of us, from outside, we enjoy the sun and the landscape. I decide to go on and to try some things more. I meet LG, RG's sister, at a beach and I hug her sensually. I take her with me into the air, taking her clothes out and kissing her. I dive down the sea with her, thw water is dark and full of air bubbles. I breathe normally. I leave her and walk underneath water, for a while.
Then I leave water and decide to try a transformation into an animal. First I think about a gorilla but this is too human-like, I want something quite different from me. I think about a royal eagle. Unfortunately, the place where I am is a rather small piece and my arm-wings do not have space to beat in the air. The transformation is quite incomplete but, still, I manage to beat the arms somewhat and go up flying a little just as a bird.
Now I decide to try if my taste is effective. I look for a table with good food over it. I find a plate full with "dreams" (fried dough) and some bottles of fruit confiture. I prefer the sugar cane honey but I can't find it. I taste one dream with confiture. Hmmm! Delicious. Wakening.
Dream nº 31
(16.00 to 16.20 h) Fall asleep and took a lot of time to leave and to solidify the dream. I'm in a kitchen and I oscillate around there without being able to define the dream. Lastly I can leave out and I see L and A. I touch them all over their body, they don't care about, I try taking one of them inside house. She is in a hurry to get dressed for a party.
I'm about to enter in a dark room where I imagine there can be a monster. I feel a indistinct figure in the darkness inside. I think it's better not go inside. I go on my way.
I try to make countings from 1 to 10: a clear effect is perceived as an increase on the solidity and definition of the dream, but it too makes me aware about the big amount of noisy sounds that go in my head (in the dream space): it looks like if I can hear the hundreds of millions of electrical impulses from my brain. There appear lots of psicadelic lights and colors, too. I decide to try to emit sounds. The mantra OM. In the beginning it does not get out clearly and the sound level is quite low. After some attempts I got aware there is something as a continuation of the emitted sound (a persistence of the sound) and that I can compose some tones keeping them together in a set, forming a choir. I also have, at first attempts, the certainty and the sensation that is my true physical body who is emitting the mantra, being necessary some care in order not to wake up myself. However, I notice the same breathing difficulty as described previously by Flo: it is as if the set of voices empties our lungs and we get a sensation of suffocation which compels to interrupt the mantra. Wakening.